Swordfish!

My Grandfather was 94 years old when he passed away. He appreciated a good joke, cheesy wit included and was taken by a Marx Brothers movie in which a deaf mute attempts to gain entrance to a private establishment. The door keeper asks for the password, and the would-be enterer, not able to speak improvises by holding up a sword and a fish.

My grandfather enjoyed that story so much that he took on 'swordfish' as his own house's password and asked it of all (family members) who would knock on his door.

Grandpa, I say to you 'swordfish!'

Passings

A Caucasian female was found dead in Washington Heights 5th floor apartment. Apparent cause, head explosion. Commonly known to locals as 'Cracker,' close friends just knew her as a sweet, if troubled, young woman. All proclaimed shock, dismay and great sadness at this unexpected turn of events. Friends and family hesitantly point towards the hours spent scanning jobs in the arts, emailing applications and the disappointment at receiving numerous rejection letters. Chronically unemployed, the deceased was known to send hundreds applications to as away as Beijing and New Delhi in the hopes of securing an interview. One friend had commented that the explosion came at a surprising time. "Last time we talked she had really turned a corner and accepted that perhaps a job in the arts wasn't for her. She really liked the busy atmosphere at the local Rite Aid and had decided to apply there as a cashier with the hope of making assistant manager. She was also excited about the discount on the cosmetics."

Despite this new lease on life, she just couldn't tear herself away from what had become a dangerous habit. Authorities report that the last image the deceased saw was a posting in craigslist. This unpaid internship from a Well-known Design Firm sought a highly skilled candidate well-versed in Photoshop, Illustrator, Indesign, Maya, Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro, Certified in CPR, deep-sea diving, excellent barrista skills, with preference give to native speakers of Amharic.

In a heartening turn of events, Rite Aid authorities have decided to issue her an honorary 'employee of the month' certificate. Ms. Smith, the publicist for the company stated,
"Although we never had the pleasure of meeting this young woman, we are deeply saddened by her passing and touched by her interest in joining our organization as a salesperson. We are certain that she would have made a deep impact on our team. Washington Height's local branch will hang her picture in the store during the month of October as a tribute to her deep interest in the mission and purpose of our organization."









Forensic scientists commented on the irregularity of the situation. "I've seen a lot in my time, I must admit, the rate at which the interiors of the brain had to press to crack through an inch or normally extremely durable cranium is highly irregular. I'd say that that brain had a mind of its own."

Officials are continuing to investigate this matter and are still not sure whether the cranial particles will ever successfully be removed from her Apple computer. Her parents intend to keep it as a tribute to their daughter. A service will be held in her honor at St. Jude Thaddeus's in her hometown in Tennessee. Individuals are invited to send checks to recovering artists anonymous in lieu of sending flowers.